


Midnight Salads

by IHaveNotTurnedGOOD (strangeradventuresofstarwars)



Category: Green Wing
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic, Sue’s Worried About Something, You’ll See What I Mean By Future Fic, midnight chats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-02-29 11:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18777370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeradventuresofstarwars/pseuds/IHaveNotTurnedGOOD
Summary: Very early in the morning conversation between Sue & Guy





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MadamMissy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadamMissy/gifts).



I don’t own anything.

 

Stirring from sleep, Guy yawns and stares up at the darkened ceiling of Sue White’s bedroom for a moment.

Shifting positions to roll to one side, Guy holds out an arm, prepared to wrap Sue in his arms and hold her close until he falls asleep again.

And probably get threatened to an inch of his life for being all ‘cuddly.’ 

However, the other side of her bed is empty and cold.

Guy sits up then, looking around the dark room for her.

It only takes him a moment to work out where she has gone, as this is not the first time this has happened.

It’s happened more than regularly now as well and whilst Guy wants nothing more than to get to the bottom of it, he finds it strangely endearing.

Getting to his feet, he heads for the stairs.

Wondering if he can coax Sue back to bed.

 

There are candles lit in the kitchen when Guy approaches it. 

He can see the faint glowing underneath the door.

Pushing open the door, he smiles a little at what he sees.

Sue, sitting in a chair eating a bowl filled with salad.

However, the almost anxious look in her eyes is concerning to Guy.

Especially the hint of tears.

She looks like she’s been crying...

“Hey.” Guy announces himself as he’s walking over to her.

Not wanting to startle her.

Incase she threw a knife at him or something.

Which she has both threatened and has done on occasion when he’s sneaked up behind her and caught her off guard.

She eyes him once, before turning back to her salad bowl, not speaking a word.

“Are you okay?” He enquires gently, pulling up a chair to sit beside her.

“Fine.” She murmurs, staring blankly ahead.

Worried that pushing her further might cause her to actually murder him, Guy refrains from asking anything else and instead reaches to grab something out of the salad bowl.

“Get your own!” Sue snarls at him then, taking the bowl off the table and shielding it from Guy.

“Keep your fucking mitts away from my salad.” 

“Okay, alright, please don’t kill me.” Guy leans back and holds his hands up in surrender.

“You’re losing those hands if you go near my salad again.” She warns him, causing Guy to smile a little.

“Do you think I’m fucking joking? Really? You really want to tempt fate like that, Dr Secretan?”

“It’s okay, I’m not going to take your salad from you.” Guy assures her, earning a sceptical look from Sue in return.

Who simply holds her salad bowl closer and continues to eat from it whilst keeping an eye on Guy.

Who is definitely not going to go near her food again.

He chooses life.

Sighing, Sue shifts a little so she can put her feet in his lap.

“Are you okay? What are you doing up?” She enquires.

“I didn’t know where you had gone.” Guy replies, starting to lovingly rub her feet. 

“I was hungry.” She murmurs.

“At half past two in the morning?”

“Don’t fucking judge me for being hungry, wankpot.” Sue growls at him.

“I’m not, I’m not.” Guy assures her.

“It’s just that you’ve been doing this for weeks now.” He reminds her gently.

“I mean out of all the surreal things you’ve done, getting up in the early hours of the morning to eat isn’t weird at all, as I said it’s just the fact that you’ve been doing it for weeks.” Guy explains himself, when she flashes him a dangerous look.

Sue doesn’t answer him, instead she just continues to eat her salad, brushing her long hair away from her face in the process.

“Are you sure that everything’s fine?” Guy presses softly, not about to ask her why she had been crying, instead he just hints that he would like her to tell him, by leaning forward and wiping the tears from her eyes ever so carefully with his fingers.

“Yeah, don’t worry about me, nightmares, you know, they never go away.” She sighs.

Guy is perfectly aware that she has particularly awful nightmares.

Over the years, Guy has completely lost count of all the hundreds and hundreds of times that she hasn’t been able to sleep due to a horrific nightmare.

He has always tried his best to calm her down from them and coax her back to sleep, but he knows that they can get rough for her.

The only problem is, is that even after all the years that they’ve been together, Sue will still refrain from waking him up if she’s had a particularly vicious one. 

“I know I’ve told you this time and time again and you’re probably going to kill me for saying it again but I’m going to anyway. You know you can always wake me up if you need me, please wake me up, you don’t have to suffer through it alone.” Guy tells her in a calm manner.

“I know, I know that.” She gives him a tight smile.

“It wasn’t just that though, it was other things, I had a lot on my mind and I wanted my salad.” She informs a smiling Guy.

“Do you want to tell me what was on your mind?” Guy enquires.

“It’s not important.” Sue shrugs off his concerns with a wave of her hand. 

“If it’s keeping you awake and made you...” Guy pauses for a second.

Made her cry. Is what he wants to say but refrains from doing so incase she chooses to put all her walls back up.

“You know you can tell me anything, absolutely anything and everything.” He nudges her affectionately.

“Well I know that.” Sue replies.

“It doesn’t matter.” She decides in the end, putting her now empty salad bowl to one side.

“Should we go back to bed?” Guy suggests.

Sue doesn’t say a word, only nodding her agreement, leaning forward to give him a brief but loving kiss before moving her feet to let both herself and him get up.

“I suppose we better, early start tomorrow.” Sue reminds him as they head through her cottage to the stairs.

Reaching her bedroom, they both slide into her large bed at the same time.

However, instead of creating a pillow wall or just rolling to the edge of her side of the bed. Sue does the unthinkable.

As soon, as Guy has gotten himself settled, Sue slides into his arms, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting her head against his chest.

Now, if this wasn’t such a rarity, Guy would make so jokes about how she’s become the cuddly one tonight.

Yet there are rare moments in which she chooses to do this and Guy would never say anything at all.

Which is why, he wraps an arm around her and holds her close.

She’s more upset then she’s letting on.

Guy can tell, from the way she is the one seeking to be held and the way in which with her held so closely against him, he can feel her heart racing.

“Whatever it is.” Guy starts quietly.

“It’s okay, I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here.” He presses a kiss to the top of her head, stroking her hair in a slow soothing manner. 

“Come on.” He presses kisses the top of her head again. 

“Let’s sleep, we’ve got a long day ahead.”

“It’s your own fault, agreeing to babysit Mac & Caroline’s spawn.” Sue mutters.

“My Godchildren.” Guy corrects her.

“What whilst Mac and Dr. Trodd swan off doing fuck all?” Sue raises an eyebrow.

“Mac begged. I couldn’t say no. Mac Macartney begging? I had to.” Guy protests.

“Anyway, Caroline wanted to go out to look for designs for the room for their third child. I can’t believe they’re having a third kid, scratch that. I can’t believe they already have two kids.” Guy exclaims.

“Insane. Pair of them.” Sue mutters quietly.

“I can’t believe they’re still alive. Think all that responsibility would finish me off even though I am good with kids, Mac’s kids adore me. I’m the favourite godparent.” Guy remarks causing Sue to smirk and snort at the same time.

“Mac agreed as well.” 

“What? That you’re the favourite godparent. Be realistic...”

“No, that the responsibility would finish us off if we were to ever have kids. Recipe for disaster and to be fair, as I said I don’t know how Mac’s not dead, thank god we’re not in his position. I’ve finally got one over him!” Guy laughs, holding Sue close.

The Scottish woman who always seems to have an answer for everything, remaining silent for once.

Not daring to give an answer to that. 

“Still can’t believe you agreed to babysit again.” Sue mutters after a moment.

“You haven’t seen Mac beg before.” Guy retorts as Sue just rolls her eyes at him.

“It’s called a spine, honey.” 

“Next time, I’l set you on him.” Guy smiles down at her.

“Yeah, I’ll deal with him.” Sue murmurs sleepily as Guy kisses the top of her head.

“Too tired to plot anything now.”

“Go to sleep, sweetheart. Everything’s fine, your fine, I’m fine. It’s okay.” He assures her softly.

“Please wake me up if you have another nightmare, I don’t want you to be alone, not when I’m right here, sweetheart.” He reminds her as she looks up at him for a moment.

“I love you.” He reminds her.

“I love you too, you cretinous fuckwit.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the finale of Stephen Mangan’s ‘Hang Ups’ - Guy’s day goes from seemingly easy to an absolute nightmare & Sue’s got something to share.

I don’t own anything.

 

When Guy had awoken the next morning, he’d found Sue gone with a note informing him that she couldn’t get back to sleep so she’d gone to work early.

That she shall see him after his ‘adventures in babysitting Mac & Dr. Trodd’s spawn.’

Rolling his eyes at her note but chuckling to himself all the same, Guy had put it to one side and had begun the process of getting ready for work.

 

“Hey, hey.” Mac Macartney jogs towards Guy the second he sees him walking down the corridor.

“Are you still on for tonight?”

“To babysit my godchildren? Of course I am. You and Caroline deserve the night off for once, actually is it really a night off though seeing as you are doing an activity that relates to your unborn third child?” Guy queries.

“You’d be surprised to learn that it is.” Mac replies. 

“Well, it really doesn’t matter to me what you and Caroline get up to, I’ll baby sit for you no matter what.” Guy gives his best friend a warm smile.

“Thank you so much, seriously. You have no idea what this means to both Caroline and I.” Mac squeezes Guy’s arm briefly before jogging off down the corridor.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Haven’t we got surgery?” Guy frowns.

“Yes, but I need to drop something off first.” Mac calls as she’s jogging.

“I’ll be with you in a bit.”

 

With trained precision, Sue White throws small knives at a board across from her desk with one hand.

Her other hand typing absolute nonsense on her keyboard. 

Her mind filled to the brim with stressful thoughts that plague her every waking moment.

“Jesus!” Mac’s voice startling her almost causes her to throw a knife into his head.

“What do you want, Dr. Macartney, make it quick or the next knife will end up in your head.” She puts emphasis on the last few words of that sentence as Mac strides into the room.

“I’d much prefer it if you didn’t stab me, I come bearing gifts.” Mac announces, opening up a shopping bag he’s got with him.

“Fresh salad.” He places the large box down in front of her, causing Sue to lower the knife that she was contemplating stabbing him with.

However, she soon picks that knife back up again when he puts a huge flask of something that doesn’t look particularly appetising.

“What.” Sue uses the knife to point towards it.

“Is that?”

“It’s a smoothie. I’ve been making them for Caroline, they’re good for you and for the...”

“It looks fucking gross.” She raises an eyebrow at the offending flask.

“Apparently, it tastes better then it looks and as I said, it’s both good for you and for the...”

“Yes, I fucking get it Mac!” Sue hisses at him, resting her hands on the desk before her and taking a deep breath.

She knows that she needs to be a little bit calmer than normal but oh my fucking god does she want to rip his fucking ginger head off and launch it out of the window of her office, hopefully taking out some other wankers in doing so!

“Drink the smoothie.” Mac pushes it towards her, pulling his hand back quickly when she goes for the knives.

Not wanting to even risk loosing a finger.

“You and your fucking smoothies. You can shove it up your fucking arse at this rate!” Sue retorts.

“Calm, try to think calm thoughts for a change.” Mac suggests as Sue stabs her fork into her salad in an agitated manner.

Imagining that the salad she is stabbing at is Mac.

“You still haven’t told him yet, have you?” Mac eyes Sue as he watches her brutally attack the salad.

Even Mac winces when she looks up at him as if looks could kill then he’d be lying on a slab in the morgue.

“I haven’t got time for this, Mac, I’m a busy woman and unless you want to leave my office in literal pieces.” Sue taps her knife with her perfectly manicured nails.

“Then you’ll fuck right off.”

“You need to tell him.” Mac sighs.

“No I don’t.”

“You kind of do, come on, for once work with me here.” Mac continues, leaning forward in the chair.

“Now, I know that It’s only been a day but I’m already feeling guilty about keeping a secret from him, especially one like this. He’s my best friend.”

“And if you want to live to see your third child be brought into this world, then you’ll keep your fucking mouth shut.” Sue threatens him.

“I do want that, I do but. Sue, the fact is, is that you’ve got to tell him.” Mac finishes as Sue continues to aggressively stab her salad.

Mac and his fucking ‘facts’.

One fact in particular.

The fact that she is pregnant. 

Probably has been for a while now, but she had only found out officially yesterday.

And It’s all fucking Mac’s fault.

 

Yesterday, she had been a little more murderous than usual.

She may or may not have thrown a weapon at Mac, the second he’d walked into the room telling her that he needed to talk to her about her behaviour towards other members of staff today. 

Especially Martin, whom she had thrown a knife at and had sliced his arm in doing so, telling him to fuck off and that she wouldn’t miss if he didn’t get the fuck out of sight.

Mac had not been pleased.

He’d started off calmly before going into his speech about how Martin doesn’t deserve this and that he gets enough crap thrown at him by Guy.

Sue had then fought back, verbally destroying Mac there and then before ranting about something completely irrelevant, which is when things started to get interesting. 

“I have enough of this from Caroline these days and that’s only because she’s pregnant with our third child and...” Mac had paused then.

“Is that it?” Mac had enquired, when Sue had looked at him strangely when he’d paused suddenly.

“Is that what?”

“Are you, you know.” Mac had continued.

“Am I what? Spit it out man!” Sue was beginning to get annoyed.

“Do you think that you could be perhaps, in the same boat as Caroline.”

“Are you a fucking moron?” Sue had snapped at him.

“You really think that? Fucking hell, are you so dense Mac Macartney? Are you on some new kind of crack? If that’s the case, hook me up. You’d be in favour forever.” She’d waved a hand at him, sticking her legs up onto the table.

Yet, Mac had just laughed and gave her a tight smile.

“Look, all I’m saying is that you are displaying a lot of the signs similar to Caroline’s. I’ve done this three times and I am a doctor, which is why I just thought that...”

“You thought wrong.” Sue had retorted.

“Are you sure? Come on, can you tell me that you are one hundred percent certain that you are not pregnant at this time?”

“Of course I’m not! I think I would’ve noticed, don’t you think?! I wouldn’t have had...” Sue had paused then herself.

Not actually remembering her last time of the month, not at all.

Actually she had noticed that she hadn’t had that, but she’d chalked it up to stress because of dealing with this fucking job. 

However, for several weeks she has noticed that she has been eating more and at strange times.

Random midnight salads that are not getting so random anymore...

No...

Fucking. No, Mac is just being a cunt, putting shitty thoughts into her head.

“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” Mac guesses.

“Shut the fuck up and get out.”

“You know, most of the hospital staff just send samples off to pathology to get a test done these days. It’s free and can be done discreetly, in fact I’ll take it for you. I don’t mind.” Mac had offered.

“Why?” She had hisses at him.

“Why what?” Mac had frowned.

“Why would you do that for me?”

“Because my best friend is in love with you and because, you’re not that bad, really. You can be tamed.” 

“DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING TRY THAT ONE AGAIN MAC?!”

 

Mac had done as he’d said he would.

He had discreetly taken the sample to pathology and collected the results envelope at the end.

He hadn’t opened it, instead he’d just dropped it onto Sue’s desk and sat down.

“What the fuck are you still doing here?” She’d grumbled as she’d glares at the envelope.

“I don’t think that you should be alone right now. I mean, I’d go and get Guy but he’s the last person you probably want to see right now, so I’ll stay.” Mac told her and watched as she glared at him before snatching up the envelope, ripping it apart as if she was tearing off a plaster.

Getting it over and done with...

Mac had known in an instant what the results were due to the look of pure horror on her face.

“FUCK!”

 

“Not to sound like a dick here, but you can’t exactly hide a pregnancy, especially from the man you live with.” Mac points out gently.

“Who’s hiding a pregnancy?” Caroline had frowned as she’d entered the office from behind Mac, both he and Sue having been too engrossed in their conversation to hear here come in.

“Uh.” Mac glances up at his wife.

Sue flashed him a look there and then telling him without words that his life is currently at stake.

“Ohh my god.” Caroline’s eyes had widened then.

“Are you pregnant?”

“No!” Sue had snapped.

“That was a hasty no and you’re not looking me in the eye.” Caroline glares down at her husband.

“Holy shit you are pregnant, aren’t you?” Caroline had moved closer to the desk.

“Now, I know that you and I have never seen eye to eye before and have only somewhat come to a truce because we both care for Guy, but I’m here for you if you need to bitch about this. I’ve had two kids and I’m currently expecting my third so we can go through this together! Oh thank fuck!” Caroline had cheered then.

“I don’t have to go through this pregnancy alone! I get to bitch about it to someone who’s going through the exact same thing! This is great!” Caroline had fist pumped the air.

“I’m glad you’re so fucking excited.” Sue hissed sarcastically.

“Sorry, I had to go through both of my first pregnancies without anyone who was actually going though the same thing to scream to about my thoughts and feelings about it. Yes my mother gave me some pretty shitty advice but that’s not what I needed. I needed a good rant about how I was feeling and now we can yell at each other and who better then you! You’re great at yelling at all kinds of things, I’m sure this will be no different.”

“Right there, Dr. Trodd.” Sue mutters.

“I just can’t believe it. How long have you known about this?” Caroline looks to Mac.

“Guy hasn’t had a mental breakdown yet so I’m guessing that he doesn’t know?” 

“I only found out about it yesterday and it’s all his fucking fault, him and his fucking questions and his theories.” Sue glares at Mac poisonously.

“I’m guessing that this wasn’t planned?” Caroline continues.

“Was it planned my fucking arse! Do you really think that I wanted this?!” Sue practically yells at her.

“Well, I’ve got to admit, it is a shock and a half. I mean I don’t know which bit to focus on here, the fact that you are actually pregnant...”

“Wait. You’re pregnant? Oh my god, really?” Angela Hunter gasps as she enters the office.

“Fuck off!” Sue groans.

“I can’t believe it! Oh my god, this is wonderful news!” Angela begins clapping her hands.

“What’s wonderful news?” Boyce pops his head around the door at the commotion.

“Sue’s pregnant!” Angela cheers.

“Oh shit, really? Hey, Martin!” Boyce calls down the corridor.

“NO!” Sue screeches, rising to her feet, but it’s too late.

She doesn’t even have time to prep her knife or lunge for her crossbow or gun.

“What?” The sounds of Martin Dear’s voice had come from down the corridor.

“Sue White.”

“What about her? Is she trying to kill you because if you run right now you might just miss whatever she’s about to kill you with, I’ve done it before, it’s doable.” Martin assures him as he nears.

“She’s pregnant.”

“No! No way! Oh my god!” Martin had cried.

“I’M GOING TO BE AN UNCLE!” 

“ALL OF YOU, GET IN HERE, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALONG WITH THE FUCKING DOOR AND LISTEN TO ME YOU FUCKING LOT OF SHITE!” Sue had bellowed then, causing all of them to fall silent and to enter her office.

Martin shutting the door behind him with a big grin on his face.

“Aww, come here. This is brilliant news congratulations...” Martin goes for a hug.

“If you fucking hug me I will personally tear you apart limb from limb and then use what’s left to murder the rest of this lot.” Sue hisses viciously causing Martin to pause and fall silent.

“If you don’t have a chair, sit on the fucking floor.” Sue growls at them. 

To which they all do, following her orders.

“We’re not going to speak of this again, you are going to leave here very shortly with your mouths shut or I will personally sow them shut. I don’t want this.” Sue gestures to her middle.

“Getting out.”

“Can’t I at least tell Guy congratulations?” Martin sighs.

“Yes, well, I should probably inform you all that, we must not speak to Guy about this because Guy Secretan is not aware of this at all.” Mac had spoken up.

“You haven’t told him yet?” Angela cries.

“I only found out about it yesterday!” Sue hisses.

“Yet, we all know...”

“Weren’t supposed to Boyceee.” Mac sighs then.

“I knew because I was the one that drew her attention to it yesterday, Caroline overheard me talking to Sue about it and I can’t lie to my wife so she knows, then she spoke too loudly and Angela found out, who then told Boyce, who then announced it to Martin. We are the only people with this knowledge.” Mac points out.

“Which is why I’m contemplating killing all of you with my bare fucking hands.” Sue murmurs from where she has face planted the desk.

“You know, I don’t know what’s more horrifying here. The fact that Guy Secretan is going to be a father or the fact that we all know about it before he does.” Angela comments.

“Not helping.” Mac shoots her a look, before rising to his feet, wincing at the look in Sue’s face.

“Right, we’ve all got jobs to do, so let’s go and do them, Caroline and I are going to stay here for a bit longer but you lot are going to get back to work and not a word about this to anyone. Especially Guy Secretan.”

“Or she will kill you and I might just help her.” Caroline adds, watching as Angela, Boyce and Martin all nod before slowly exiting the office.

Martin still with a smile on his face from what he sees as happy news.

He’s going to be an uncle!

Mac and Caroline share a look between them before staring at Sue.

“We’ve got your back.” Mac promises her.

“But, If I we’re you, I’d tell Guy as soon as possible before Martin combusts.” Caroline advises.

“I might be good at keeping secrets, Sue, but they’re fucking dreadful at it. It’ll be all over the hospital by the end of today.”

“Not if i fucking kill them first it won’t be.” Sue rises to her feet.

“Seriously, Sue, you have to tell him. I’m sure the last thing Guy wants is to hear about his unborn child through hospital gossip. I couldn’t imagine it.” Caroline shakes her head.

“I could. That’s how I found about you being pregnant with our second child!” Mac reminds his wife.

“Details.” Caroline waves a hand at him before both she and Mac fix Sue with a stern look.

“Tell Guy!”

 

Walking into the break room, Guy pauses as he sees a bunch of letters in his pidgin hole.

They’re all from Switzerland.

Fuck.

Opening one, he discovers to his dismay that they’re from his father.

Not even bothering to read them, Guy screws each one up and tosses them into the bin.

Not even wanting to be in the same room as the letters, Guy storms out.

He’ll eat in the canteen instead.

“Guy!” Guy doesn’t even have time to react before he is tackled in a hug by Martin.

“Oi, stop trying to cop a feel. What the fuck are you doing?!” Guy shoves his half brother backwards.

“Ohh nothing, I just wanted to hug you because it’s, you know.” Martin shrugs.

“No I don’t know and please don’t make a habit of doing that.”

“But I am your half brother.” Martin moves to put an arm around Guy, who shrugs him off.

“Don’t fucking remind me.” He grumbles before answering his currently ringing phone.

“Guillaume...”

Oh fuck...

“I’m hanging up.” Guy tells his father.

“Wait, before I do that, how the fuck did you get my number?”

“Language, son and I tracked it down through that hospital you work at. Have you not been receiving my letters? I did tell you that I would be phoning at this time on this day and as to how I acquired your number.” His father informs him.

“I have received your letters and I took no interest in them whatsoever like you’ve taken no interest in me in over thirty years, father.” Guy snaps back.

“Oh, it’s your dad? Shit...” Martin starts but Guy shoves him away.

“Guillaume, I’ve had no choice but to send letters to your place of work because they’re not reaching your apartment.”

“That’s because I don’t live there.”

“You don’t live there? Where do you live? I would like the address.”

“You can fuck right off if you think I’m giving you that!”

“Language and it doesn’t matter if you’re giving it to me or not, I’m sure I’ll discover it when I come to visit.”

“VISIT?!” Guy screams.

“Oh yes, it’s about time I visited you, I did tell you this in the letters you chose not to read.”

“I haven’t got time for this.” Guy shakes his head.

“Guy, I’m so sorry.” Martin reaches to give his half brother a hug but Guy just grabs him and throws him into the nearby cupboard, locking the door from the outside and throwing away the key.

“You’re not coming to visit.”

“I am, in fact it’s at the end of the month.” His father reveals.

“End of the month?!” Guy cries.

“Yes. I do wish to see why my money turned you into, the state of your life right now. Do you have a partner yet, Guillaume? Some rich, sophisticated lady with impeccable manners and a good background is what I’m expecting...

“Guy, Guy.” Mac and Caroline are trying to get his attention.

“Someone’s gotten hit by a bus, we’ve got to go. Now, now, we might be the operating team.” Mac tells him.

Seriously? Guy thinks to himself.

Fuck it’s going to be a long day.

“Listen, father. I have work. Someone’s been hit by a bus...”

“Dr. Macartney, Dr. Secretan, Dr. Todd-Macartney I do believe that...” Guy closes his eyes in exasperation as Dr. Alan Statham appears from what seems out of nowhere to sprout his usual rubbish.

“Oh for heavens sake, Alan. They’re a waste of space, the lot of them!”

Oh no.

Guy immediately whirls around at the sound of Joanna’s voice and makes a hasty retreat.

Squeaking as he goes as the sight of her brings back some pretty awful memories.

“Ahh yes, your mother works at the hospital doesn’t she? Perhaps I’ll get reacquainted with her.” Guy’s father continues on the phone as Guy is practically hyperventilating.

Desperate to escape this insanity.

“Guy, come on. We’ve got to go, theatre. Man hit by a bus!” Mac reminds him.

“Look, I’ve got to go. It’s hectic...” Guy tries to get rid of his father just as a very sickly looking Boyce shows up.

“Fuck, don’t eat the canteen food, think I’ve got food poisoning.” Boyce moans.

“You do not look good.” Mac agrees.

“Just shat myself.” Boyce admits meekly.

“Angela’s not looking much better either.” Caroline calls from where she’s helping Angela who is being sick in the corridor, way too close to Guy for his liking.

“Fucking hell!” Guy groans.

“Right, you fuck off and stay the fuck away from my life!” Guy screams down the phone at his father before hanging up.

Something he should’ve done the second he heard his fathers voice.

“Caroline, you help Angela and Boyce with their food poisoning and keep them the fuck away from me.” Guy recoils at the sight of the two ill doctor’s.

“Mac, let’s go and deal with this twat who’s gotten himself hit by a bus and let’s go this way so I don’t have to run into...” Guy shudders at the very thought of Joanna Clore.

However, the second he and Mac begin to move. The sound of Martin banging on the cupboard door that Guy had just locked him in sounds out.

“Did you? Did you lock Martin in a fucking cupboard?” Mac folds his arms.

“And I threw away the key!” Guy throws his arms up in the air before running.

Just running until he ends up knocking straight into Sue.

“Oh.” Guy sighs happily at the sight of her.

“What the fuck happened to you?”

“I’m having the day from hell.” Guy whines.

“Literally this is the kind of day that would even make Mother Teresa kick babies.”

“Sorry to hear that, anyway. Guy, I just wanted you to hear this from me...” Sue is cut off by Guy pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Oh fuck, just stay here, stay in my arms, please. God I need this.” Guy groans.

Crushing her to his chest as tears appear in his eyes from his beyond exhausting day so far.

Fuck. He thinks as he’s hugging Sue.

Babysitting Mac and Caroline’s children is going to an actual fucking break today.

What an absolute fucking nightmare of a day.

Shit hit the fan and it just spiralled.

Why does this always end up happening to him?

He starts the day calm & cool and then ends up nearly having a mental breakdown by the end of it.

Thank fuck he can just stand here and hug Sue.

It’s what he deserves right now.

 

After a tough, but enjoyable full on evening of babysitting, Guy strides into the cottage.

“Hey, I’m back!” He calls, guessing that Sue will still be awake.

Surprised not to see her sat on the sofa, drinking tea as she quite regularly does when he’s late returning to her.

“Sue?” He calls to her as he heads up the stairs, pausing when he reaches the top step.

Certain that he can hear her sobbing...

“Sue? Are you alright?” Guy approaches the bathroom with caution.

“Yeah. Didn’t...” She pauses.

“Didn’t hear your come in.” He can hear her trying her hardest not to cry.

Pushing open the door that she hadn’t locked, which is very unlike her, Guy pops his head around the door, eyes widening when he sees her sat on the floor, resting against the bathroom wall, her wild hair around her face and her eyes red with tears.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, fine, just fine, poured boiling water over my hand is all, my love.” Sue grumbles, lifting up her hand, to reveal her blistered palm.

“Do you want me to take a look at it? I am a doctor after all.”

“Fucking anaesthetist.” Sue mutters.

“Again, for the millionth time, I am still a fucking doctor.” Guy rolls his eyes at her.

“Nah, I’ve sorted it. I was just going to bed. Join me, you must be fucking knackered.” Sue points out as she passes him.

“Sort of, I mean I am tired but I love looking after my godchildren, they’re an awful lot of fun.” Guy picks up a few things whilst he’s in the bathroom before following Sue into the bedroom.

Watching as she curls up into a ball on her side of the bed.

Sitting next to her, Guy isn’t sure whether to hold her or not.

Something’s wrong, he’s not an idiot.

Well, not that much of an idiot anyway.

Not wanting to get murdered, but not wanting to let her go on like this, Guy begins to stroke her hair in calming motions.

“You know, before I left, Mac said something rather interesting...”

“What?!” Sue freezes then and pulls out of his reach, sitting upright with a wide eyed look.

“What did he tell you?!” She practically hisses at him.

“Fucking Mac.” Sue hisses.

She knew he couldn’t keep a fucking secret.

Especially not from his best friend!

Bewildered at her reaction, Guy furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“Well, since he’s had two kids and has got a third one on the way, he was looking to buy a proper car but doesn’t want to part with his motorcycle, so he wondered if I would like to have it. I mean, I’d keep my car but don’t you think I’d look cool on a motorcycle... Sue, what’s going on?” Guy frowns at her.

“You’d look ridiculous on a motorcycle, Secretan.”

“No I wouldn’t, I’d look cool.” Guy tries to defend himself.

“I mean, I’m not saying you shouldn’t take it. I’d ride it.” Sue states.

“Ohh sweet jesus.” Guy whispers as the pure mental image of his girlfriend riding a motorcycle.

Yet, has to shake his head of his fantasy, to regain focus on what he’s concerned about.

“Why are you mad at Mac? What do you think that he’d told me?” Guy was very quick to pick up on her words.

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

“It obviously does matter, what don’t I know?” Guy presses.

“Some stupid fucking prank, alright. Mac and I were planning a prank and I thought he’d let you in on it, for a smart man he can be a fucking idiot like that sometimes.” Sue sighs exasperatedly as she rises to her feet.

“Where are you going?” Guy queries.

“To find something to do, I’m not tired, so what’s the point of me just fucking lying there.” Sue grumbles before disappearing quickly.

Leaving Guy more perplexed than before.

 

He’d ended up calling Mac in the end, wanting to get some clarity on what the hell is going on with his girlfriend and what in the name of gods arse has Mac got to do with it.

“Hey.” Mac greets him cheerfully.

None of the whole ‘how dare you wake me at the hour.’ Speech Guy assumed he’d be getting.

“She told you didn’t she?” Mac guesses, causing Guy to pause.

“Now, I’ve been expecting this, mate. It’s alright. It’s going to be alright. If Caroline and I of all people can raise two kids with a third one on the way, then you and Sue can raise one easily, now I know I’ve been sceptical before now, but I’ll give you advise, I’ll help you and besides, you do a fucking good job of babysitting my kids, they love you and your kid is going to love you just as much, more. So, no matter what you’re thinking right now, it’s okay. Everything is going to be fine. You might have to try and stop Sue from actually murdering people during this time, but you can do it! Like I said, me and Caroline are here to help you both with whatever you need. Now, do you have any questions right now, burning questions that you’d like to get off your chest?” Mac enquires kindly.

Completely oblivious to the fact that up until now, Guy had no fucking clue what he was on about.

“Yes, I do have a question.” Guy speaks in a higher pitched voice than intended, but the only voice that he could find to speak in.

“What the fuck?”

“I know you might feel shocked...”

“No, no, I meant what the fuck are you talking about? Fuck...” Guy whispers.

There is silence on the line for a second, as Mac starts to realise that Guy might have had no idea about what Mac was talking about and that he’s just accidentally told his best friend about the one thing he shouldn’t.

Meanwhile, Guy, sitting there with his eyeballs practically bulging out of their sockets, is trying to wrap his head around what he’s just been told.

He’s no imbecile.

He knows exactly what Mac was trying to reassure him about and it all makes so much sense...

“She didn’t tell you did she?” Mac winces.

“Nope, I was just wondering about this top secret prank you two were planning that she was telling me about.” Guy replies.

“Yeah, there’s no secret prank. Umm, can you just tell her that you worked it out on your own? Please don’t tell her that i accidentally dropped this on you, just now. I’ve got kids to raise, I don’t want to die horribly at the hands of Sue.” Mac begs.

“How the fuck do you know about this?” Guy whispers.

“Well, uh, by accident really. Same with Caroline, Martin, Boyce and Angela. You know it’s a fucking miracle really that they haven’t accidentally told you before the day was out.” Mac continues.

“Hang on, hang on. Am I the absolute last person out of our friendship group to know about this?” Guy shrieks then.

“Uh...” Mac isn’t sure how to approach.

“Okay, okay. I’ll deal with that later, right now I need to talk to her, I need to talk to Sue about this...” Guy eyes the doorway.

“Again, please don’t tell her that I accidentally outed this to you, it was completely unintentional, please don’t let her murder me.” Mac practically begs.

“Don’t worry about it.” Guy says almost numbly.

“It’s going to be alright, mate. Seriously. It will be fine.” Mac assures him before hanging up, leaving Guy with absolutely no clue as to what to do now.

 

Heading downstairs, Guy is hit with all the things that he’d missed.

The signs that he should’ve been able to notice.

Now he’s thinking about them, it should’ve been obvious to him.

All of the midnight salads, the crying. He should’ve know something was up then.

Sue really does do everything humanly possible not to cry.

The way she’d frozen after he’d said that he’s glad that they weren’t in Mac and Caroline’s position...

Oh fuck...

If she’d have known then and he’s guessing that she probably did, no wonder she’s been on edge and refraining from telling him the truth.

Shit.

 

Guy finds her sat on the porch through the back door, an empty salad bowl positioned by her, which Guy moves to one side, so he can sit down.

Her beautiful eyes are glistening with tears and she is staring off into space.

“Hey.” Guy announces himself as he sits.

“Bit cold.” He remarks, shivering at the state of the weather.

“Helps me think.” Sue replies.

“What are you thinking about? You’re quieter than usual.” Guy decides that he might just let her come to him.

Maybe she will.

“No one plots a murder out loud.” Is her response, causing Guy to gulp fearfully.

“Okay, I hope that wasn’t directed at me.” Guy winces.

“It wasn’t.” She answers, as Guy let’s out a relived sigh.

She might not be saying that in a few moments, he muses to himself as he takes the leap and holds out his hand, taking one of hers in his.

Her hand is so cold. Yes, she’s always noticeably cooler than others, but her fingers are really freezing this time, product of the cold weather she’s sat in.

Guy wants to get her inside as soon as possible.

Keep her warm.

Squeezing her fingers lightly, Guy let’s out another gentle sigh.

“I know.”

He can feel her tense up at his words.

“I know about the...” Guy stops when she fixes him with the ultimate death glare.

“It’s alright. It really is alright, in fact it’s more than alright. It’s fantastic. It’s fantastic news. I am so, so happy you could not believe and the only reason that I’m not hugging you right now is because I’m afraid you might stab me in the back or something because, you look a bit pissed off, sweetheart.” Guy admits gently.

She does stop glaring at him.

“Can I hug you now?” Guy holds out his arms.

Lowering them, when he sees fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. It’s okay. I’m not mad, I am over the moon about this, I really am. Yeah I can’t believe that literally everyone in our friendship group knew about this before I did, but this means the world to me, it’s okay.” Guy tries to assure her but she shakes her head slowly.

“I can’t do this. I can’t be a... They’ll hate me. I’ll be a fucking awful mother.” She whispers through her tears.

“No, no, you won’t. It’ll be fine, we can do this. You’ve got me, we can get through this together, we’ve got time to prepare for this, you’re not going to be an awful mother. I mean you’ve sat with me when I’ve looked after Mac and Caroline’s lot and you didn’t murder them.” Guy continues his attempts to reassure her.

Horrified that she thinks so little of herself.

For such a sure and confident woman, she does have some very deep insecurities.

Most she pretends do not exist in the slightest, but she can’t pretend that this doesn’t exist.

Not anymore.

“I don’t. I just don’t have a fucking clue about what I’m doing.” She whispers, which is when Guy decides to risk getting murdered and wraps her in his arms, ever so carefully rocking her back and forth in his attempts at calming her down.

“We’ll be fine.” Guy says with certainty that he doesn’t know how he has as he’s also freaking out about this, but internally.

He’s perfectly fine with it. He’s ecstatic about having a child of his own. 

Yet he is incredibly nervous and he’ll scream about all of this to Mac when he gets the opportunity to.

However, right now, his priority is being here for Sue.

“It’s all going to be okay.”

“No it fucking isn’t.”

“Might surprise you.” Guy replies, kissing the top of her head as he continues to rock her back and forth as she cries.

He’s not entirely certain of how long they’re sat there for.

However, when the cool air becomes near unbearable to him, he immediately wants to get her inside.

“Come on, let’s move from here.” He speaks to her softly, waiting for a few moments before she stands up, heading back into her cottage.

 

Sitting on the sofa, Sue runs her fingers through her hair, lowering her head and trying to remember to breathe, to focus.

The world hasn’t ended like she thought it would when he learnt the truth.

It startles her when soft fabric suddenly is wrapped around her.

A blanket.

One of the softest blankets she has in the cottage.

“You’re freezing.” Guy comments as he sits down beside her.

“Didn’t notice.” Sue shrugs her shoulders as Guy let’s out a sigh before pulling her into his arms again, praying that she won’t kill him for it.

She doesn’t. She lets him hold her and throws her legs over his lap, resting her head on his shoulder when she feels comfortable enough.

“Trust me, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.” He whispers to her.

“It’s alright.” He presses a kiss to the side of her head.

“We’re going to be just fine.” He assures her, resting his free hand against her stomach. 

“Everything’s going to be alright.”

 

Other than gentle mutterings of reassurance from Guy to Sue, neither of the two say a word to each other for a little while.

Not until, both of them come to a silent agreement to go to bed.

“Better go to bed, Mac’s to kill.” Sue stifles a yawn.

“Uh, darling. Why do you want to kill Mac?” Guy enquired softly as he’d followed her into the bedroom.

“He told you, didn’t he?” 

“What? I worked it out for myself.” Guy lies quickly.

“Really?” Sue gives him an ‘I do not accept your bullshit’ look.

“Yeah... Kind of. Took a little bit of work.” Guy continues with his lie to save Mac’s life.

“Took a bit of... You’re not a fucking detective, Secretan.”

“True, true. I think I’d be more of a holistic detective, if I was one anyway.” Guy tilts his head to the side.

Shaking her head at him in exasperation, too tired to even yell at him, Sue just crawls into bed.

When Guy joins her, she instantly moves into his arms.

Bringing a smile to Guy’s tired face.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Guy wraps both of his arms tightly around her, keeping her held close to both comfort her and to warm her up.

For once, Sue actually wants this.

She wants him to hold her.

Not that she would ever admit it but right now, she doesn’t want him to let her go.

Tensing up as she is struck with a reminder of the events that will pan out, Sue closes her eyes, hoping that sleep will give her a break from her mind.

“It’s alright.” Guy tries to comfort her the second he felt her going tense.

“Everything’s going to be okay, better then okay. Shhh.” He presses another kiss to her forehead.

“It’s alright sweetheart, we’re okay.”

 

Guy yawns as he enters the operating theatre, nearly walking straight into Mac.

“Hey, good to see you. I wasn’t sure if you were going to be in today, after last night. How. How are you feeling?” Mac rests his hands on his best friends arms.

“Well, I’ve got to say that yesterday was the second most stressful day of my life. Don’t ask me what my first was, you were there and the day ended with you in a coma. There’s stuff that went on yesterday that even I don’t know what to do about, but if you’re talking about the fact that I’m having a kid, yes, I’m surprised, terrified, have no idea what I’m bloody doing but you know, I can do this.” Guy nods confidently.

“Sounds like you’re trying to reassure yourself more than anything there.” Caroline comments.

“Well. Don’t read too much into that.” Guy winces.

“It’s going to be fine, I promise. You’re going to get through this and me and Caroline will be here for the two of you as much as we can and for as long as we can.” Mac promises.

“I’m just glad that I’m not the only one that’s pregnant this time round. Me and Sue can bitch together about the fucking nightmare that is pregnancy. I’d have started the bitching session already if it wasn’t for the fact that there is a sign on Sue’s door saying that her office has moved? Did you know about this?” Caroline frowns.

“Yes, uh. I, I had an idea. Couldn’t sleep last night so when I could I came here and I thought of something brilliant. Mac, we literally work with Caroline so you don’t have to worry about not seeing her all day.” Guy points out.

“Where is this going?” Both Mac and Caroline eye Guy sceptically.

“I’ve had Sue’s office moved, just outside the operating theatre, there was a spare room just next door so I figured I could just move her office in there and then she’s right next door to us, which makes planning rota’s easier and I can check on her whenever I’ve got a spare moment.” Guy revels what he believes to be his brilliant plan of action.

“Do you really think she’s going to appreciate this, Guy?” Mac enquires.

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. We’ll get to see each other more, I won’t be as worried about her and our unborn child because she’ll only be next door now. I’ve also got her a new chair, for support. Seriously I think this is one of my best ideas yet.” Guy beams happily.

“Okay, Mac and I will start planning your funeral.” Caroline shakes her head at him.

“She’s not going to kill me for this, she’ll probably be relieved!”

“She’s going to kill you.” Caroline places her hands on her hips.

“No she won’t, if anything this will hopefully alleviate some of her stress, which isn’t good for her, because I’ll be right next door. I won’t be as stressed because I’ll know that she and our unborn kid are close by and safe. Also, she’s gonna love her new chair...”

“GUILLAUME VALERY SECRETAN!” 

Sue’s screech causes Guy, Mac and Caroline all wince at the same time.

“You’re going to die mate, face it with bravery.” Mac pats his shoulder.

“WHERE ARE YOU YER CRETINOUS FUCKWIT!” 

“I’m going to hide in a cupboard until she’s calmed down.” Guy whispers before taking off running.

“She’s going to kill him. She’s going to actually kill him this time.” Caroline remarks watches Guy run.

Wrapping an arm around his wife, Mac sighs.

“These next several months are going to be long.” Mac comments.

“Long and hard and we are all going to be at risk of being murdered by Sue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst thing that I’ve ever written, I am so sorry. I wanted to do a decent job of this for the wonderful MadamMissy who deserves the world & more for all the wonderful comments & support of these fanfics & it’s just gone to hell & back. Yet believe me earlier drafts looked worse so I’m sticking with this. Thank you for reading. Please do comment and tell me your thoughts. I may consider a part three should anyone want it that depicts Guy’s fight for survival over the coming months but I might just leave it at this. Thanks again for reading & please tell me your thoughts on this story.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably not one of my bests. I just had an idea & went with it. I felt like there were some unanswered questions so I might make a part two, depends if anyone wants it. Thank you all so much for reading & please comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts & ideas on this.


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